Nelson Ure?a 曾在康奈爾擔任本科招生工作，他說：文章開頭設置懸念，勾起了讀者的好奇心，自然而然吸引讀者一直讀下去。接著讀下面幾段，她的故事慢慢聚焦起來，隨著她的描述，讀者在腦海里也會升起一幅畫面。
除了巧設懸念，通篇文章的描述能讓讀者對作者產生好感。這也是文書的亮點之一。Nelson Ure?a 說：『在看文書前，我對Brittany一無所知，但看完文書，我想對這個充滿求知欲的、機智的、豐富幽默、善于表達的年輕姑娘了解更多。她的文書成功在能讓讀者對她產生好感?！?/span>
"From the undergraduate committee perspective, students who stood out had only one thing in common: likability," Hirschfeld Legatt said.
"By the end of the committee discussion, admissions officers would be most excited to admit — and eventually meet — students whose essays could illuminate the unique identity of the person behind the application," she continued.
康奈爾前招生官Nelson Ure?a 說，我還注意到了 Brittany 在文書中的用詞，如果你回過頭再看這篇文書，并把所有的動詞標亮，你會發現這些詞都是精心挑選的，它們不僅描述了動作，還表達了作者的心情，比如: charged, rampaging, widened, sliced, sprinted, touch, taste, stick, explore, scour, whisked, scaled, survey, towered, navigate.
賓大前招生官Hirschfeld Legatt說，Brittany有講好故事的能力，她的文書最大的優點是繪聲繪色地展示了她是一個怎樣的人。通篇讀完，我們形成的印象是這個女孩有見地，有創新思維，幽默風趣。我尤其記得一個既發人深省又忍俊不禁的句子：'If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?'
不過，招生官對文書的審核是主觀的，僅憑一篇文書也不可能獲得好幾所名校的錄取。這個美國女孩獲得6所頂尖名校的錄取還離不開優異的成績。她是美國高中Concord High School這一屆最優秀的畢業生，高中成績年年名列前茅，今年畢業時還作為學生代表致告別辭（致辭的學生一般是畢業班最優秀的學生）。除了成績頂尖，她去年還參加了麻省理工學院的STEM暑期課程，學習天體物理和科學寫作。
題目: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
原文：Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two- year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.
Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.
While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.
I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.
My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.